Christmas Eve was normal schedule, but we got out of class early (hallelujah) to go to some cool devotionals and the depiction of the nativity. Mormons love theater so any chance they can get on stage and show off their 3 wiseman skills is one they definitely take advantage of. I have to say, if I have to sing Joy to the World one more time I might throw up. My roommates and I took "our first Christmas" photos together. I love my district. They let me be me which is pretty much crucial. We are laughing constantly. It's like middle school again where you can't sit with your buddies because you disrupt the class. But don't worry we are just FLOWING WITH RIGHTEOUSNESS HERE. its hard being so good;) bad joke. Anyways. Christmas day we had to wake up at 5:45 and....study. HA! I read the story of Jesus's birth and completely got a different feeling than I ever had when reading it before. It was the best way I could have spent Christmas morning which I honestly didn't think I would ever say. But it's true. I felt so joyful while reading how the angels were singing and rejoicing on high that the savior of all was at long last here.
Elder BEDNAR came ladies and gentleman. It was so amazing. We got to see him in a completely different light because instead of his audience being the world (general conf) it was just us. And because of that he could talk to us more directly and differently. Each member of his family spoke. His little grand kids were screaming GRANDPA WHAT ARE YOU DOING the whole time it was hilarious. He passed out 150 cell phones (resisted temptation to text you guys saying "hi from Bednars phone lolzies") and we got the opportunity to text him up on the stand any question we wanted. We were live streaming with every MTC in the world and video streaming with the Chile and Ghana MTC. The choir sang Noel and it was incredible. Nothing can bring the spirit in faster than 700, 20 year old missionaries singing REJOICE FOR THE KING. The room radiated and our choir director tried to not cry as he directed us. I'm tearing up even thinking about it. Completely different side note, my face was on the screen so the world saw me trying not to laugh at my jumbo tron hashtag resisted temptation to not wave. After that we had more cheesy reenactments of the Christmas Carol to which I IMMEDIATELY feel asleep until this guy who was really into his act was screaming EBENEZER SCRRROOOOUUUGGGGEEEE I woke up and Children actually started to cry that's how loud it was. I ran into my choir teacher in the cafeteria and tried to tell him I appreciated him and accidentally tripped on some kids stupid chair and fell INTO this poor man. It was awkward because I nervously laughed it off, but he didn't laugh he just stared at me. Talk about defeat. I gave the chair kid a good talking to. Everyone was watching too and like 30 people started laughing at me. Oh man.
I appreciated the little gifts and letters I received in here. I took pictures of me opening all of them and hopefully I can get that to you. I loved it all so much I can't even say. The words of encouragement were so lovely and made me feel so good. So thank you for that sooooo much.
Then it was time to call home which I was dreading and excited for. I kept my cool for the most part. But my stupid computer wasn't working and in the middle of the phone call had to switch computers which means I lost time in the phone call. I was so frazzled and overwhelmed, but told everyone in the room including my presidents, that if anyone made me cut my time short they would get a swift kick in the throat. And yes I can kick that high. I loved talking to you guys. Forgot how much I missed your voices and wish I could have said so much more. But it sounded like everyone was happy and struggled with the scavenger hunt. yes:) When I hung up I got teary eyed. Awkward people tried to pat my back and I said NOPE and ran away. Side note I also learned that I am the queen of the game jacks (oh mission life). That was the main entertainment while we were just sitting around waiting for the next thing WHICH by the way happened to be David Archuleta. Now I'm going to try and sufficiently write what took place when they announced good ole Dave was coming. There are two things Mormons go crazy for 1. volleyball and 2. David Archuleta. I watched in horror as full on riots of excitement broke out and multiple sisters burst into tears. It was like an Oprah giveaway episode no joke. Me and my district didn't know what the heck was going on but i almost peed my pants laughing. It was a good concert!! Our Christmas dinner was a sack lunch pb&j and apple hahaha. no joke. We then watched Ephraim's Rescue which is one of the few church movies that I don't cringe of cheesiness during. It was so good and nothing makes you feel more wimpy than a movie about people freezing and starving to death walking to Utah...so that ended on a good/depressing note haha.
The rest of the days have gone by so fast so I will try to write some highlights that I remember. I accidentally in Italian told my investigator to read Alma 11:7 instead of Alma 11:40 . Uhhhh big difference ladies and gentleman hahaha. she said over and over "Io no se?" I said "what don't you understand? I've never read anything more direct!!!!" haha my bad. Sometimes on service days there is literally nothing to do because everything at the MTC is so neat and clean all the time so they had me clean vacuums. you heard me, I cleaned the cleaners. just wiped them with a rag. hahahahaa. Also when you don't ever listen to music you find that every other minute a new song is stuck in your head and nothing is more frustrating when you forget the lyrics and can't look them up. You just run around to other people singing what you know and hope they spontaneously finish the line. also Puo, po, and po all are different words in Italian. meaning "more, he did, and little". I formed a sentence using only those words and laughed my face off. And the word "bean" and "gospel" are IDENTICAL and apparently I've been saying I believe that this is Jesus's bean on earth. ahhhhhhh. mission life.
On Sunday I taught several times. I was grateful to share dads conversion story which I love telling. I look up to my dad and his example of literally droping everything and following the promptings of the spirit. A strong man became even stronger by way of God. At some point we must all be converted, and I'm not talking about baptism when you're 8 type of thing. I am talking about turning yourself towards Christ and rooting yourself there. Those who are converted are different than those who have a testimony. Alma 23:5-6. I shared my testimony that as set apart missionaries, we have special blessings needed to accomplish the Lords work, but more than that just as Children Of God we have the power and birth right to call upon the Holy Spirit when we need. If God could come down and put his arms around us in times of sadness or sorrow he would, but how would that build faith, strength, or character? His gift to us to feel a small fraction of his celestial and infinite love is the holy spirit. SO USE IT. He wants us to have it with us always. It was a great lesson and the spirit was very strong.
There was no mistake in being assigned to the district I am in. I needed these people to learn what I am learning. This week has been harder for me than last week as I am learning more Italian. I have another investigator named Mckayla. It had already been such a hard day for me Monday, but I was supposed to teach her later in the evening. As we taught her I couldn't for the life of me understand what she was saying' but even worse, when I did understand I didn't know how to respond. It was such an inadequate feeling and often at the MTC you can feel like you aren't where you should be in all aspects of learning. They don't exactly slowly introduce you to teaching people either. It is BAM and that can be really hard. I can't go into everything that happened, but it was enough that I felt more helpless and inadequate than ever. And it's frustrating because you have already sacrificed so much to be here. After the lesson was over I made my way to the bathroom and (sigh-yes) I cried. I cried because I can't use my mouth which is so worthless to me when I am only to speak Italian. The lesson that day was the cherry on top of an already hard couple of days. When I came out of the bathroom an Elder walked up to me handing me three letters from my family. I didn't miss a beat when I swiveled and went right back to the bathroom to read them and tear up haha. But I realized that I was crying for myself and that pissed me off. I wiped my stupid ugly face and left the room, did a few air punches and remembered a talk that Bednar gave. This work literally has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the people. I just get to see it happen in front of my eyes. This place sucks/rocks constantly and is a temporary place for me to become the missionary God needs me to be for the Italians. I get frustrated because I am confident in how I talk to people. So why didn't God want me to have an English mission so I could make an impact? I find myself shocked at how hard this MTC experience can be at times. It's pretty much the biggest ugliest piece of humble pie throw up and a side of slap in the face I've ever had. As I endure I find myself down on my knees every night. I cannot say how important prayer has been to me this past week. Many problems with prayer come from forgetting your relationship with him. HE IS YOUR FATHER. Go to him. At home I went to my dad for everything and I miss his absence from this new found life almost daily. But instead I am now to lean on my Heavenly Father and how amazing that has been for me to realize. I learned this week that sometimes even when obedience is present in your life and trials come, it is not a punishment or a "Im not doing something right" it is evidence that God is aware of you and that you are strong enough to endure yet another trial to become who you are needed/want to become. I can't help but think of a dear family to me in Kamas who was feeding missionaries and visiting teaching when their house burnt down. Why? they were being obedient. they were doing everything right. so why would something so horrific happen to such good people? why do missionaries warp the concept in their minds that obedience=success. It does not equal success and if you truly believe that you are out of your mind and I welcome you to spend one day at the MTC. Obedience is your relationship strengthening with God as you work on living your life at a higher plain. That is not to say you will not endure life hardest trials. I tell the people around me this every single day so that they may stay sane. It is an important thing to know and understand. You must learn use yourself towards Christ's will rather your own. John 3:30 is one of the most simple and profound scriptures I have read. Your usefulness will not decrease but rather you are becoming more as the savior taught "even as I am".
I am humbled being here. I am happy being here. I am frustrated being here. But it is all necessary for me to learn what it is I am required. And I am grateful for the knowledge and testimony that this is Gods true gospel. I have it born witness to me every single day.
This week I am teaching 5 new investigators all from Milan. like for real no joke they do not speak a word of English. I find so much comfort in knowing my only job as a missionary is to tell a story , it is the Lords job to convert. and that is a far harder job! Wish me luck!! we get fresh new missionaries today and as I see their terrified faces in this freezing snow I comfort them...psych I'm just like HOLLA' glad I got that over with two weeks ago. Miss you all!! hope you had a great week!
your missionary sorella
in bocca al lupo ( in the mouth of the wolf- i guess that means good luck to them. I prefer to say it while screaming. scares people. got to make this place interesting sometimes.)
The Sorellas and their Christmas Stockings
Sorella Seymour and Sorella Williams happy to be outside
Lindsay with her Christmas gifts
