CIAO MTC

     I cannot believe this is my last pday in the MTC what is going on? Where has the time gone? They are not kidding when they say the days feel like weeks and the weeks feel like days. Sooooo true. I finally got my flight plans heeeyyyy hooooooooo. But also almost threw up on them because hashtag nervy. I go from SLC to Atlanta to Amsterdam to Milan. It  will be the longest day of my life, but I'm just excited for chick Fil A at the airport am I right? It's so exciting that the end is coming, but so terrifying that the work is just NOW beginning. I'm so exhausted, but luckily I have a plane ride for 02390523985 hours to sleep. What I am 100% not ready for is saying goodbye to the Romans. My home slice Swenson is my other half and I have needed her at the MTC so bad!!! I can't imagine not seeing her face everyday. And Hills cracks me up more than anyone and is just so perfectly Hills. I can't explain her except just saying "Its just Hills" I know I'm making no sense right now. But I just love them with every part of  me. There is a special bond here at the MTC when you are thrown so drastically into stress and spiritual insanity. You really lean on each other and I will miss them. Ew I hate emotions.

     How Sundays work here is we have our normal sacrament and then the branch Pres will get up and on the spot announce who will be speaking and you just get up and speak in ONLY Italian. scary right? Everyone gets all nervous right before. Well guess who he called this week! good ol Williams. I was waiting for someone to be like I VOLUNTEER I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE. Alas, nope. Unfortunately for me I didn't plan my talk too well before hand because I was like pssshhhh ill never get called so I'll just draw on the white board instead. It ended up going really well. I had a few notes in my notebook but I didn't use any of them because when I got up there I realized how bad I hated everything I wrote. So I gave a whole talk in Italian SOLO. Who knew? not me. It was a confidence boost that's for sure. I know more than I gave myself credit. I love the Italian language. Its so beautiful and I just thank my lucky stars everyday I'm not in this place learning Chinese or Finnish for 10 weeks. My word. 

     We taught several times this week and they all went really well! The language is getting easier and easier for me to understand so instead of just smiling and nodding with a single tear rolling down my face because I'm so confused... I actually know what they are saying and can respond!  We "mock" taught Swenson and the three of us were in a class room teaching the restoration. My most favorite thing to talk about in the history of the world . And I'm getting better at saying it all in Italian. Well Sorella Hoffman popped her head in the classroom and loved how we were teaching it, so much that she  said PAUSA and got the others and brought them in to watch how we were doing it as an example. Not that I'm not encouraging anyone to compare yourself. And we genuinely didn't think we were doing that good of a job. But Sorella Hoffman said she could feel the spirit so strong and wanted the other missionaries there. I recited the first vision and bore my testimony and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. The story of an average Joe who was so humble, Joseph Smith, asking God which church was true to then literally witnessing the Father and Jesus Christ appearing to him is the most profound thing that has ever happened on the Earth since Jesus. I can not say this enough. It brings the spirit every dang time. And I want anyone who ends up reading this to read Joseph Smith History chapter 1 again. I don't care how many times you've read it. It is true. It is real. It happened. and prophets in our day are still being led by Jesus Christ himself as it is His church on earth. Absolutely incredible.

     I think one of the best things about being a missionary right now is that we have Preach My Gospel, a guide for missionaries and really anyone to understand and teach this gospel. Back in the day the missionaries had specific memorized lessons that they would recite to their investigators. We had a devotional this week talking about this very thing. They ask a lot more responsibility out of missionaries today, instead of having set lesson plans, simply follow the spirit and teach from the heart. Sounds simple- but it's not. I thought the MTC would be a place where they would teach me and tell me what to teach and I could just worry about learning Italian. oooooohhhhhh nooooooooooo was I wrong. I have the complete responsibility at calling upon the spirit of the Lord to tell me exactly what it is that this investigator is needing to hear. I have to study this gospel, I have to know these scriptures so that the spirit may bring one to remembrance for me, I need to know this language. But because of this, the conversion cuts deeper for both me, my companion, and the person we are teaching. I have had some of the most spiritual experiences of my life while teaching REAL investigators here, teaching over skype to Italy, mock teaching my teachers, and teaching random volunteers from Provo area. It's so wonderful because each lesson is different as I try my best and prayerfully ask what it is this person needs to hear. I have not had one lesson that has the been the same as another. I love the Preach My Gospel books- we have become best friends. I cling to it with my life. They are incredible tools so that I may know how the spirit can touch the person I am teaching. Nothing has been more rewarding in this MTC experience so far when you see the defensive walls of people break down and their eyes fill with tears as they realize the tr;truthfulness and sincerity of the message brought to them by two 20 year old girls. I did not put my life on hold for 18 months to travel Italy, I did it because I know this message to be true. THE SPIRIT IS UNDENIABLE. Pray to feel it more easily in your life and you will. Its that easy I promise. 

     Yet again I am the luckiest sister in the world because I am convinced in my 7 weeks here I have had the best devotionals of all time in the history of the MTC- that I am sure of. Donald L. Hallstrom  came and talked to us Tuesday. He is the president of the quorum of the seventy. He did not have one note or paper up there with him-most speakers don't actually. He was lead by the spirit talking to us and it touched my heart so strongly!! I will miss the devotionals here so much! He gave me a lot of confidence in what I am doing. He did not beat around the bush and was very dry about everything, which are my favorite people. He talked about giving your whole heart to this work.  No matter where we are all going on our missions to which ever country, the message will be the same. He said in such a powerful way speaking about his own mission to England, "I knew I was on the threshold of something important. That I was sure of. So I could not under-do the experience of being a full time missionary of Jesus Christ. You start by giving your will to the Lord. Give all of yourself to Him. Then move forward and know that they will do with you as they need. You will be blessed with a higher level of direction. Some of us think Am I really good enough to do this? I declare that you are because you are a son or daughter of God. It will not make life easy, but you will never look back". The culture of this world is not as important as the culture of Jesus Christ. We have been talking a lot about Italy this week and what to brace for. The teachers have said they have never seen as much sin up close as they did in Italy. It takes strong missionaries to go to such a sinful place. They went into detail about some of the things they saw, but I don't need to go into that.  What they did say was that those who recognized the message for it's truthfulness were ready to turn toward Christ regardless of their environment, past, family situations, money circumstances, etc. No culture in this world is as important as the culture of Jesus Christ. What ever you have been dealt with in life, I promise you that the Atonement of Jesus Christ will give you the power to overcome it. 

     I want you all to know I have appreciated so much the help and support from you as I have been in the MTC. I cannot say enough that I literally have no idea what I'm doing getting on the plane Tuesday hahaaha. I have no idea what to expect for the next 18 months of my life in Italy. But I represent him and follow him and because of that he will never leave me alone. This place has been such a great learning environment for me and I have made some life long friends. Nothing I experienced here was by coincidence. Nor is anything I write in these emails. I pray every time before I write these emails to hopefully touch someone and let it be something they needed to hear. Not everyone can be full time missionaries as I am, but God doesn't care about that. He wants you to feel His love more than anything. He wants you to ask him in prayer if he is really there for you. And he wants you to use what he has given us to help you realize that you are his child and his work is happening on this Earth! pick up the book of Mormon and read it. I do not hesitate to promise you blessings when you do so. 

     I LOVE YOU ALL!  SEE YOU IN AMSTERDAM LOLZ GONNA PARTY IT UP, ALWAYS WANTED TO GO THERE. jk just going to be chillin in the airport. or will I......;);):):):);)::):):):):)):):):):)) Bye mi Americani amici ti voglio bene!!!

love Sorella Williams

P.S.  Sis Romney and I are friends now and she loves my turquoise rings but I told her she can't have them unless her grandma needs them for something. Man that Anne, gets me every time. 

I LOVE my district!!

Saying good bye is really hard.  We are off to Rome & Milan

T- 1 Week and 4 Days

Ciao!

     First and foremost thank you so much for so many packages and letters!!!

     Sorella Swenson, swens dog, s-money, s-threat, nacho Swens, had her 21 birthday on the 16th so it was a partaaayyyyyyy heeyyyyyyy. And by party I mean her mom sent her a cake and during some free time during the day aka maybe 10 minutes, we cut that baby up and ate it while poppin bottles of rootbeer. I was in charge of the tunes so I put on some Mo-Tab beats. Funniest thing ever is us in dead silence eating cake at our desks listening to hymns hahahahaa. Oh my mission life. It was a wild time. 

     The french missionaries have officially invaded every space of mine. The Germans left this week so the French took their space. They are everywhere holy crow. All over every sink and bathroom stall, every shower, every open classroom. I've just started to plow through them. It's overwhelming and I usually just tuck and roll everywhere I go now. But the other day I was washing my face and I guarded my sink with my life, otherwise some french sister would take it. And this girl was like oops sorry scussi mio (or however you spell it in french) and I was like oh heck no, not today sister!!! well I looked up from the sink....It was sister Romney. Yes you heard it people. The granddaughter of Mitt and Anne. Just casually washing her face with me in my sink. Pretty sure I got two gallons of soap in my eye because I legit stopped everything and just stared at her. No one gets why I think she's such a celebrity. They will never understand the struggle of being one of the only republicans in the liberal state of Colorado. Now I see her all the stinkin time and I'm just trying to get invited to her grandmas house you know? I'll let you know what happens. Still working on it. 

     So apparently I really impressed everyone with my dedicated hosting skills (and yes-I don't need to repeat how dedicated I was from last weeks letter) because they asked me to be a "special" host. Well in my head I immediately thought " I'm hosting Uchtdorf and Holland when they drop by" no, but still cool. I got to host a couple foreigners coming to the Provo MTC-here in America for their first time! Some spoke English and some didn't. Either way it was the funniest day of my life. I had the coolest Samoan sister and she loves me and wishes I was going to Samoa on my mission because I can "hang". Never underestimate the power of a compliment from a Samoan. Anyways we are besties now and I'm basically just one of the gals. Or I try. Two of the Samoans I hosted, an Elder and a Sister, had never seen snow and LOST THEIR MINDS when it started snowing while I was with them. They ran outside and danced for a minute and then immediately were like "nope too cold". The one elder walked right into a private office into a meeting I was having with a sister and walks right through the middle of this tiny closed door office (keep in mind he is like 6 foot 6) and stares out the window and in the tiniest, cutest, little voice I've ever heard out of such a giant, says "its....snowing" and started to CRY. I started to cry too!!! how could you not?!  I just have a special place in my heart for Samoans. They went on about how much they loved the food here and I mentally slapped myself in the face for ever complaining. It was a good reality check. 

     Janice Kapp Parry came and spoke to us. Little ashamed I had no idea who she was, but everyone was losing it. I know who she is now and think she is so awesome. She was crazy blunt and dry so my kind of woman. She was there to impress no one and I loved it. She shared a story about her hosting this young missionary in her home the day he came out to the field before he got his companion. As she was walking him to his room he began to cry. she asked if it was his family he missed or maybe a girlfriend and tried to comfort him. He then said "no, no. It's my dog. He's not going to know where I am tomorrow" and everyone in the audience started laughing because they weren't expecting him to be crying about a dog. Well I started to cry because I talk about my dogs 24/7 here and miss them more than is healthy and wonder if they think I abandoned them. Well she was appalled that so many laughed and was like "no. I understood him. I am a total dog person and would much more cry over my dogs than anything". So needless to say, I love her and she gets me and that's all there is to it. 

     We had a big mission training yesterday and Elder Bednar, Oaks, and Anderson spoke from a live conference from Salt Lake and it was way cool. I can't believe how many opportunities  I have had, while in the MTC, to hear apostles speak. I am so lucky. Each time I take something different and you realize these are truly apostles of Jesus Christ with the same authority and power as Peter, James, and John. 

     As I come to a close here at the MTC, it is very bitter sweet. I thought I would feel  so ready to go to Italy. And don't get me wrong,  I have learned so many things while being here, but I have one job; to get on a plane to Europe and not come home for 18 months and to preach of Christ everyday, all day long. That's pretty dang intimidating. I wish I could write and say I know what the heck I'm doing. But all I know is my language gets a little better everyday, I try listening to the spirit more in my lessons everyday, I try memorizing the 203958 scriptures I'm "supposed to" all in Italian a little more everyday. I am trying everyday. And sometimes that's enough to get me through the fear of actually arriving in Italy and going to work.

     You learn a lot about courage here and how literally everyday-day in and day out- I am to stand as a firm of a witness as there can be of Him on every bus, street corner, doorstep, etc. It was such a fun fantasy to think about at home, but this is about to happen in a week and a half!! It's not so fluffy and fantasy like anymore. This is actually happening. And in almost every country in the whole world a missionary wakes up somewhere with that one task in mind. I am a full time missionary with His name literally over my heart and I am to act accordingly. I was set apart to be a missionary under the same authority given by the same God as Alma, Ammon, Peter, Paul, and other incredible missionaries. Elder Holland put it, "We called you for 18 months. Not 10, not 14, not 17 and 3 weeks. Every minute of everyday for those 18 months. So DO NOT MISS YOUR OPPORTUNITY". 

     This gospel is a lot to ask of someone to take on - believe me I understand what I am about to ask people to do. We are asking these people to change their lives. And it is hard to do so and to continue to "perseverando sino alle fine". But salvation is not a cheap experience. Why should it be easy when it wasn't for Him? The ultimate sufferer? The road to eternal happiness first goes through Calvary. 

     I am his witness. I have signed on to be his missionary, which will bring a whole package of experiences. But the work can also be done by normal people in their everyday lives and sometimes they make the most difference. But the work must continue. When we are baptized we make promises as we turn toward Him to bring others with us. He trusts us with the knowledge that we were lucky to receive in order to do the same for others. It is always going to be scary and intimidating to be a missionary in your everyday life. Elder Oaks said it best "You are not called to preach what is comfortable. You are not called to be politically correct. You are not called to be socially accepted." We are called to act". 

     I am about to do this in another language in a foreign country on a weird continent to people who will hate my message. But I am smart enough to realize that I can not and will not be doing any of this alone. Non ho paura di nessun uomo! Be brave. These are some scriptures that really stuck out to me this week and I hope you look them up and pull some strength; Acts 4:29 be bold. Psalms 139:23 he knows you and your desires. Romans 1:16 Do not be ashamed or embarrassed! 2 Corinthians 3:12 Open your mouth. He will fill it. 

     I hope you all remember that God allowed you to hear this gospel and be baptized for a reason. It was not a coincidence. And it is because you proved to be amazing missionaries before this life. He knows the power of your mouths when you speak as directed with the Holy Spirit. There is no greater gift in anyone's lives than this gospel. So to the friends you love and cherish most, or family members who need a boost, or neighbor whose having a hard time, just reach out to them. That's literally sometimes all you have to do to make a difference. 

     And of course this is all easy to say but in a couple weeks I'm going to have to take my own advice and toughen up because I am human and am in need of constant reminder of these simple things. This world is not waiting for me to catch up. Do you really think God needs me as a missionary? No. He could do all this himself if he wanted to. But he allows me to help and watch because he knows that as I invite others to Christ, I am coming too. He loves us more than you can imagine. Pray to Him. Crescendevo pui qui alla MTC. Son grato al mio Padre Celeste per Gesu Cristo e il nostro Redentore. Io so che Gesu Cristo e noi Salvatore e ci ama. I sono felici per questo opportunita faccio Suo lavoro! Dose of Italian for the day eh? 

I love you all so much and think of you often!! 

Sorella Williams

Sorella Swenson's Bday celebtation

Veloce Settimana!

Hi wow,

     OK so. I would like to have a moment of silence for the death of Severus Snape. I was just informed - I have ways- and wow. That is so sad. I loved that guy. 

     Its been quite the week. First of all thank you for so many letters. You have no idea. I can tell I'm definitely the kind of missionary that likes to hear everything about your lives so don't hold back. Thursday we went to the temple which was so perfect!!! The temple is so beautiful.

     Most of this week has again just been a string of chaotic teaching!!! All day every day. We have such special moments with our investigators. It makes me so excited to go to Italy and find the people that are ready for the truth. No matter how many times I read the Joseph Smith history or the first vision,  I can always have the spirit ALWAYS. Whenever a discussion is going south or making no sense I immediately just read them the first vision and talk about Jesus Christ restoring his church. There is nothing more profound than that one afternoon in a grove. I love it. 

     I also need to say a little something of Sorella Hoffman. She is an unbelievable person and I love her with my whole heart. We are similar in a lot of ways and sometimes I pretend teach her like she is an investigator and still the spirit can be felt so strong. She is so in tune with the holy ghost and truly teaches by guidance. She shared a story this week to us about one of her investigators from her mission in Italy named Angela. She always refers to Angela as her golden investigator because she was so ready to hear the message and recognized its truthfulness almost immediately. She cried as she told us such personal details about their lessons with her. Angela was baptized and to this day I don't think there is anyone in the world that loves her as much as Sorella Hoffman. It's so sweet. It is truly unbelievable how this gospel and the truth of it can turn people towards God. She said you will experience so many people that are not ready for the gospel or don't want to listen, she said don't spend all your might on these people when there are people like Angela ready to return to Him. I'm learning a lot here about how to recognize what it is the Lord would have me say to these special people he introduces me to. I have experienced the spirit prompting me in a lesson to say something that may be different than the lesson plan and it has always been exactly what the person needed to hear. I love being His instrument in this bigger than life work!

     My older missionary couple friends, the Fitzner's, left on their mission Monday morning to Rome. I was sad because I know I wont see them as I will be in Milan. But NO ONE was more excited to go back to the mission he served in 45+ years ago than this sweet Frotello. He had some Italian missionaries come together and shared with us incredible and tender stories from his mission. I loved hearing about it so much. He said the hardest part of his mission was coming home after it was over. I hope I'm like that too!!!

     Anziano Harris's mom sent him something called the Riccardi Letter. ITS AMAZING. He read it to us when we had an hour to kill. If you have time to kill to please read it. They are honest letters about a guy on his  mission and some of the things he learned. I read it all the time now. I FEAR NO MAN. 

     SO this week has been exciting because 6/12 apostles are here training new mission presidents. You always know where they are because the hallways will be blocked off with lots of security. Well that was no challenge for me and I found a way to get inside and casually walk around hoping to bump into Uchtdorf and be like oh hello sir- uchtdorf is it? yes I am Sorella Williams. But that didn't happen, but I did bump into Brother Mills from the "before and after" devotional I was talking about in my last letter and was probably scaring him with how excited i was to see him. I was happy I got to tell him how much I appreciated his talk. That night Elder Neil Anderson spoke to us. Awesome. I now have had 2 of the 12 apostles speak to me while being in the MTC!! how lucky am I?! It was so great. I think my favorite part about hearing from the 12 is their unwavering testimonies of them being witnesses to the resurrected Christ. Nothing more powerful in the world. 

     OK now I have to talk about the fact that I had the chance to host yesterday. Hosting is when you have to pull sobbing family members off of their missionary and pull their suitcases inside the MTC and drag them with you. I was dreading it because MY OWN WOUND IS TOO FRESH FROM THAT DAY and I was so scared that I would join in on the family hug and start crying when it came time to drive away. ugh and I hate emotions and knew I would get stuck with some cry baby sister. I was not looking forward to it. It ended up being the most hilarious day ever. I was all over the place and they do NOT mess around here. We had to go to a conference to learn how to do it. well I was Joe too cool for school like whatever this is dumb. No it was not, this place runs like clockwork and they had the system down. I have to share some funny things. I hosted about 7 or 8 sisters (record in the whole conference thank you very much;) and one girl was crying saying goodbye to her family. I did well in the emotion department and just took her bags and started to walk away. I didn't know that her family was recording her walking away with me so I turn around and at full volume say to this elder down the road HEY IS THIS THE ONLY SISTER I NEED TO GET OR DO I NEED TO GRAB A COUPLE MORE CUTE CATS. only sisters can pick up sisters and we were short sister hosts so I was doing double duty a lot, so I wanted to double check lol. It was so awkward because I turn around and the entire family is frowning at me because I just ruined their very dramatic home video. I awkwardly said sorry and dragged their daughter away forever. AND THEN another time I got back to the curb (man I was sweating up a storm at this point lugging so many suitcases around-stripped down into the cardigan if you know what I'm saying) and all the sudden this older volunteer guy starts losing his mind looking at me saying SISTER THE VAN-THIS IS YOU- YOU'VE GOT THIS OK?! I'm like what the crap why is this guy losing it. well then I looked and realized why, the mother of all vans was chugging down the road straight to me. I was like sweet mercy help me. It was one of those vans that has like 5 rows of seats and had approximately 3 years of fast food shoved in the windshield. I was like THERE'S GOING TO BE LIKE FORTY SISTERS POPPIN OUT OF THIS BABY MAKE WAY EVERYONE HERE WE GO. And I was the only sister so I was the only one who could do it. I start doing some jogs in place and stretches when the van KEEPS DRIVING. They missed the stop line and kept on going on their merry way. So the volunteer guy is like SISTER THIS IS YOU STOP THAT VAN. um talk about panic. So I tear off up the road running full speed behind the biggest white van of all time waving my arms. Dress and all. I can only imagine what this must of looked like. But elders were cheering me on like KEEP GOING GET THOSE SISTERS YOU GOT IT and a lot of laughing. man it was quite the time. anyway eventually I got it stopped and out plopped one singular cute sister. WHAT THE HECK WHY WAS THIS BUS NECESSARY but she was crying so I thought it best not to ask her. Another time I was taking  3 Spanish sisters to the 3rd floor. I have never been to the third floor because the only people there are all Spanish speakers. well let me tell you I've been missing quite the party because the minute the elevator doors opened there was a full on fiesta going on and everyone was talking Spanish and took the girls right from me. wow what a party! From there I took a Danish sister to the European floor, the fourth floor (my floor) not a sound when we got off the elevator hahahaha. nice. huge culture difference. Hosting man, got to love it.

     My comp has been saying good morning to everyone in the mornings and some days no one says it back. Well I got mad and one day said "Mordate mi!" while smiling and waving which means "bite me" and they all returned the wave and had no idea what i said. hahahaha. best thing ever.

     I am so happy to be a missionary. I learn about myself as a true daughter of God in ways I never have.  I want to tell you all that He is so aware of you, and  you can feel his love for you if you simply ask. So many tender mercies have come my way just by asking him. The Holy Spirit is the way he can tell us he loves us. He would much rather stand next to us and hug us, but that wouldn't be helpful in learning how to be strong and have faith would it. Turn toward God and away from your past. Repent daily- it is the best thing we have been given. So many of us have a bitter taste with the word repentance. It is not meant to be something that scares us. We sin everyday- he knows this, but Christ wants us to grow closer to him and exercising the gift he died for so we could have, is not a bad way to repay him . Decide what you really believe about the Savior and His atonement, and then get on your knees and pray to know more. He will tell us. That is what I learned from Elder Anderson. I am another witness of Jesus Christ. I know that he lives and that he leads and guides his church which has the full gospel. Pray for knowledge, strength, comfort, solace, and forgiveness. And then do something about it!!!! These answers don't come to everyone in the same way. Appreciate your individual relationship with him. he loves you.

 I love you all and hope you have such a great week!!!! 






Half way through the MTC Martinelli celebration

Sorella Williams and her companion Sorella Seymour

Cappo D'anno!!

HAPPY NEW YEEEAAAAARSSSSSS. 

     The MTC was so hype for new years. We went to class all day, had normal awful food, and went to bed at 10. It was so rad. I'm still recovering. But on a serious note the one cool thing was I could hear fireworks from my window!! I just put my hand on the glass and longingly looked outside of this prison. :) I'm glad to hear you guys did some fun stuff though. 

     In no way was my district a coincidence for me to be assigned into. I would not be learning and growing the same without them. The Anziani crack me up all the time. All we do is laugh. It's great. You get to know people reaaalllllll quick when you spend 12+ hours of everyday with them in one tiny classroom. Interesting stuff transpires that's for sure. 

     Newbies came in this week Tuesday and Wednesday because there are so many new missionaries. I couldn't even look at their scared faces!! It's too exhausting to remember that day for me. But I'm so glad I had the courage to walk into this place. 

     All this past week has been is teaching teaching teaching. We teach multiple lessons everyday and it is crazy hard sometimes. We started TRC (teaching resource center) last Thursday and it's so cool. It's where you get to teach volunteer investigators who speak Italian and it can be so intimidating at times holy cow! Sorella Hoffman had a family she worked with during her time in Pisa come in (they were visiting Utah to see temple square for the first time-their first time in America). I couldn't stop hugging the mom. She was this tiny sweet little lady and I was so excited to meet her that every question she asked me went immediately out the door. I just awkwardly laughed and nodded a lot and continued to hug her. It got me so excited for Italy but also I'm realizing they talk about 2039029385908305 miles faster than my teachers and have true accents so that's cool. Her family would ask my a question and I would just slap the knee and classic laugh and say "bene, va bene" and then they would stare at me like what the heck is your problem and I would then realize.. oh they asked me a question. 

     I'm slowly but surely getting a lot better at having conversations in Italian. The spirit of the language is true people. Not in the sense that it fills my head with unlearned Italian words that I spew upon my investigators, but he makes my mind clear and memory better to remember words I have learned in the past. That's why they say; yes you have the gift of tongues, but you need to work at it. AND WORK WE DO HOLY CRAP. The other day I was reaching a breaking point and my teacher began another spiritual/Italian lesson and I was like "STTTTOOPPPPPPP I cannot handle so much spirituality in one day!  can't  we just kick it for like one second?!?!?" Well, she happened to have just put a cookie in her mouth (Sorellla Russell) and immediately choked because she started laughing so hard. She legit couldn't breathe and I was like great I just killed her because I didn't want to be spiritual for a minute. She ran out of the classroom still laughing and had to drink like 11 gallons of water to get that CRISP chips ahoy down her mouth.  It was the funniest thing ever. Lesson learned. It's almost always at 1, 4, and 9 PM where we all have individual breaking points. I try not to vocalize mine but when I'm hysterically laughing/crying/over life in general/can't take in one more new Italian language rule- I'm done hahaha.

     This past Sunday was fast Sunday which to me I was dreading, not because I would be hungry, but because eating is our only break. So when we would have been able to take a breather and eat-we just kept studying. It was ridiculous. But it ended up being the best Sunday here so far. Sundays at the MTC are something else. I cant quite explain it, but the spirit is with you all day long. Even when you can't keep your eyes open anymore. And then I witnessed a horrifying sight when the cafeteria doors were reopened at 5:45pm and I saw a legitimate hunger games right before my very eyes. Needless to say I steered clear for a while. Everyone feeds on each other here so usually it goes like this "wow I'm kinda hungry, yeah just really hungry, starving, I have a migraine because I'm starving, I SWEAR I could eat my arm, I AM GOING TO DIE IF I DON'T SHOVE 11 ROLLS IN MY FACE" so that helps to paint a picture of what that place looked like when the doors opened. I was surprisingly fine actually. I don't like the food here so it was like a forced detox. 

     We had a powerful testimony meeting. Our branch Pres told us we can only bear our testimonies in Italian. Well the spirit forced me to stand and bare mine- classic. and I was like haha psych I can't do this in Italian. So I did italian-glish. It was such a great moment for me because I truly had no clue what I was going to say, but the spirit was with me and I ended up talking about personal prayer. I heard a quote this week that said "Most problems with prayer come from forgetting your relationship with the person you're praying to" and it really hit me. He is our father. Not just the God of this world and all its beautiful creations, but our FATHER. Turn yourself over to him and he will always give you strength. I can promise you that. No problem is too big, small, weak, or stupid to him. My branch Pres wife said to me "Thank you for being so real- you have no idea how hard that is to be" I think it was the best compliment I've gotten in here so far. It was really sweet of her to say and made me feel good that she understood what I was trying to say up there. 

     Then that night we had the best devotional I think we've had so far (sorry Bednar) surprisingly, it was from the president of the international MTCs. None of us knew how big of an impact it would have on us. He said things I needed to hear and I had the spirit tell me this was not a coincidence that I was hearing it. He and his wife were so funny and so real and so genuine. Their names are Kelly and Cathy Mills. I will never forget them. I have thought about it everyday since. They told many stories of missionaries from all over the world at different MTCs that they have met over time. I am a visual learner so what they did next had such an impact on me. They had some truly incredible stories about average people who changed their life around and decided to serve missions. He then put pictures up on the big screen and showed "before and after" pictures of them. One of them in their old life and one of them on/home from their missions. The before pictures weren't even all that bad but I have never seen the physical light of Christ shine so brightly then when comparing it to how they hold themselves and appear after serving others. Their after pictures were not of them all goofy smiling dumb with a suit on either. Both before and after were just normal pictures of them. But they had been changed. Their entire demeanor was different with experience and knowledge and testimony. You could easily see the difference and at many pictures I couldn't help but gasp out loud. These people had "invited others to come unto Christ, and the side effect was they came too". Truly life changing. 

     I have thought a lot this week about strength. Many amazing friends and family members in my life are going through some seriously challenging times. Romans 8: 31 is the most simple and profound piece of advice I could offer. I have read it many times as I picture myself taking on a HUGE European country filled with many scary and great and bigger than me and dangerous and beautiful things. He wants you to seek solace in him because he can and will be the only one to truly lift you up. So let him! What is the harm in asking? I often find myself too scared to ask questions in prayer because I am afraid I wont get an answer, and then what? Stop worrying about yourself and start trusting. Everything has its purpose in your life for a specific reason. Agency can be a love hate relationship when the tough times get hard, the only way to grow is to pour yourself to Him. BE humble-he will not leave you alone. 

     Go in thy might, surely I will be with thee.

     Thank you for so many thoughts and prayers my way. I wish I could write individually to each of you but ALAS zero tempo. mamma mia!

     I wish you guys could see how it is in here but I'm killing it and working hard and taking names and forcing people to be baptized. jk. kinda though. I had to explain in Italian why only men have the priesthood and why we can't go into the temples. talk about hard. BUT I DID IT AND IT WAS amazing. my investigator cried when I talked about the priesthood. it was incredible. love you all and proud of you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also everyone makes fun of me because apparently when I teach I use my hands a lot like a true Italian. and I'm like ew stop spying on my lessons am i right?

love Lindsay



Sorella Swenson and Sorella Williams









Temple walk on Sunday