CIAO MTC

     I cannot believe this is my last pday in the MTC what is going on? Where has the time gone? They are not kidding when they say the days feel like weeks and the weeks feel like days. Sooooo true. I finally got my flight plans heeeyyyy hooooooooo. But also almost threw up on them because hashtag nervy. I go from SLC to Atlanta to Amsterdam to Milan. It  will be the longest day of my life, but I'm just excited for chick Fil A at the airport am I right? It's so exciting that the end is coming, but so terrifying that the work is just NOW beginning. I'm so exhausted, but luckily I have a plane ride for 02390523985 hours to sleep. What I am 100% not ready for is saying goodbye to the Romans. My home slice Swenson is my other half and I have needed her at the MTC so bad!!! I can't imagine not seeing her face everyday. And Hills cracks me up more than anyone and is just so perfectly Hills. I can't explain her except just saying "Its just Hills" I know I'm making no sense right now. But I just love them with every part of  me. There is a special bond here at the MTC when you are thrown so drastically into stress and spiritual insanity. You really lean on each other and I will miss them. Ew I hate emotions.

     How Sundays work here is we have our normal sacrament and then the branch Pres will get up and on the spot announce who will be speaking and you just get up and speak in ONLY Italian. scary right? Everyone gets all nervous right before. Well guess who he called this week! good ol Williams. I was waiting for someone to be like I VOLUNTEER I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE. Alas, nope. Unfortunately for me I didn't plan my talk too well before hand because I was like pssshhhh ill never get called so I'll just draw on the white board instead. It ended up going really well. I had a few notes in my notebook but I didn't use any of them because when I got up there I realized how bad I hated everything I wrote. So I gave a whole talk in Italian SOLO. Who knew? not me. It was a confidence boost that's for sure. I know more than I gave myself credit. I love the Italian language. Its so beautiful and I just thank my lucky stars everyday I'm not in this place learning Chinese or Finnish for 10 weeks. My word. 

     We taught several times this week and they all went really well! The language is getting easier and easier for me to understand so instead of just smiling and nodding with a single tear rolling down my face because I'm so confused... I actually know what they are saying and can respond!  We "mock" taught Swenson and the three of us were in a class room teaching the restoration. My most favorite thing to talk about in the history of the world . And I'm getting better at saying it all in Italian. Well Sorella Hoffman popped her head in the classroom and loved how we were teaching it, so much that she  said PAUSA and got the others and brought them in to watch how we were doing it as an example. Not that I'm not encouraging anyone to compare yourself. And we genuinely didn't think we were doing that good of a job. But Sorella Hoffman said she could feel the spirit so strong and wanted the other missionaries there. I recited the first vision and bore my testimony and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. The story of an average Joe who was so humble, Joseph Smith, asking God which church was true to then literally witnessing the Father and Jesus Christ appearing to him is the most profound thing that has ever happened on the Earth since Jesus. I can not say this enough. It brings the spirit every dang time. And I want anyone who ends up reading this to read Joseph Smith History chapter 1 again. I don't care how many times you've read it. It is true. It is real. It happened. and prophets in our day are still being led by Jesus Christ himself as it is His church on earth. Absolutely incredible.

     I think one of the best things about being a missionary right now is that we have Preach My Gospel, a guide for missionaries and really anyone to understand and teach this gospel. Back in the day the missionaries had specific memorized lessons that they would recite to their investigators. We had a devotional this week talking about this very thing. They ask a lot more responsibility out of missionaries today, instead of having set lesson plans, simply follow the spirit and teach from the heart. Sounds simple- but it's not. I thought the MTC would be a place where they would teach me and tell me what to teach and I could just worry about learning Italian. oooooohhhhhh nooooooooooo was I wrong. I have the complete responsibility at calling upon the spirit of the Lord to tell me exactly what it is that this investigator is needing to hear. I have to study this gospel, I have to know these scriptures so that the spirit may bring one to remembrance for me, I need to know this language. But because of this, the conversion cuts deeper for both me, my companion, and the person we are teaching. I have had some of the most spiritual experiences of my life while teaching REAL investigators here, teaching over skype to Italy, mock teaching my teachers, and teaching random volunteers from Provo area. It's so wonderful because each lesson is different as I try my best and prayerfully ask what it is this person needs to hear. I have not had one lesson that has the been the same as another. I love the Preach My Gospel books- we have become best friends. I cling to it with my life. They are incredible tools so that I may know how the spirit can touch the person I am teaching. Nothing has been more rewarding in this MTC experience so far when you see the defensive walls of people break down and their eyes fill with tears as they realize the tr;truthfulness and sincerity of the message brought to them by two 20 year old girls. I did not put my life on hold for 18 months to travel Italy, I did it because I know this message to be true. THE SPIRIT IS UNDENIABLE. Pray to feel it more easily in your life and you will. Its that easy I promise. 

     Yet again I am the luckiest sister in the world because I am convinced in my 7 weeks here I have had the best devotionals of all time in the history of the MTC- that I am sure of. Donald L. Hallstrom  came and talked to us Tuesday. He is the president of the quorum of the seventy. He did not have one note or paper up there with him-most speakers don't actually. He was lead by the spirit talking to us and it touched my heart so strongly!! I will miss the devotionals here so much! He gave me a lot of confidence in what I am doing. He did not beat around the bush and was very dry about everything, which are my favorite people. He talked about giving your whole heart to this work.  No matter where we are all going on our missions to which ever country, the message will be the same. He said in such a powerful way speaking about his own mission to England, "I knew I was on the threshold of something important. That I was sure of. So I could not under-do the experience of being a full time missionary of Jesus Christ. You start by giving your will to the Lord. Give all of yourself to Him. Then move forward and know that they will do with you as they need. You will be blessed with a higher level of direction. Some of us think Am I really good enough to do this? I declare that you are because you are a son or daughter of God. It will not make life easy, but you will never look back". The culture of this world is not as important as the culture of Jesus Christ. We have been talking a lot about Italy this week and what to brace for. The teachers have said they have never seen as much sin up close as they did in Italy. It takes strong missionaries to go to such a sinful place. They went into detail about some of the things they saw, but I don't need to go into that.  What they did say was that those who recognized the message for it's truthfulness were ready to turn toward Christ regardless of their environment, past, family situations, money circumstances, etc. No culture in this world is as important as the culture of Jesus Christ. What ever you have been dealt with in life, I promise you that the Atonement of Jesus Christ will give you the power to overcome it. 

     I want you all to know I have appreciated so much the help and support from you as I have been in the MTC. I cannot say enough that I literally have no idea what I'm doing getting on the plane Tuesday hahaaha. I have no idea what to expect for the next 18 months of my life in Italy. But I represent him and follow him and because of that he will never leave me alone. This place has been such a great learning environment for me and I have made some life long friends. Nothing I experienced here was by coincidence. Nor is anything I write in these emails. I pray every time before I write these emails to hopefully touch someone and let it be something they needed to hear. Not everyone can be full time missionaries as I am, but God doesn't care about that. He wants you to feel His love more than anything. He wants you to ask him in prayer if he is really there for you. And he wants you to use what he has given us to help you realize that you are his child and his work is happening on this Earth! pick up the book of Mormon and read it. I do not hesitate to promise you blessings when you do so. 

     I LOVE YOU ALL!  SEE YOU IN AMSTERDAM LOLZ GONNA PARTY IT UP, ALWAYS WANTED TO GO THERE. jk just going to be chillin in the airport. or will I......;);):):):);)::):):):):)):):):):)) Bye mi Americani amici ti voglio bene!!!

love Sorella Williams

P.S.  Sis Romney and I are friends now and she loves my turquoise rings but I told her she can't have them unless her grandma needs them for something. Man that Anne, gets me every time. 

I LOVE my district!!

Saying good bye is really hard.  We are off to Rome & Milan

T- 1 Week and 4 Days

Ciao!

     First and foremost thank you so much for so many packages and letters!!!

     Sorella Swenson, swens dog, s-money, s-threat, nacho Swens, had her 21 birthday on the 16th so it was a partaaayyyyyyy heeyyyyyyy. And by party I mean her mom sent her a cake and during some free time during the day aka maybe 10 minutes, we cut that baby up and ate it while poppin bottles of rootbeer. I was in charge of the tunes so I put on some Mo-Tab beats. Funniest thing ever is us in dead silence eating cake at our desks listening to hymns hahahahaa. Oh my mission life. It was a wild time. 

     The french missionaries have officially invaded every space of mine. The Germans left this week so the French took their space. They are everywhere holy crow. All over every sink and bathroom stall, every shower, every open classroom. I've just started to plow through them. It's overwhelming and I usually just tuck and roll everywhere I go now. But the other day I was washing my face and I guarded my sink with my life, otherwise some french sister would take it. And this girl was like oops sorry scussi mio (or however you spell it in french) and I was like oh heck no, not today sister!!! well I looked up from the sink....It was sister Romney. Yes you heard it people. The granddaughter of Mitt and Anne. Just casually washing her face with me in my sink. Pretty sure I got two gallons of soap in my eye because I legit stopped everything and just stared at her. No one gets why I think she's such a celebrity. They will never understand the struggle of being one of the only republicans in the liberal state of Colorado. Now I see her all the stinkin time and I'm just trying to get invited to her grandmas house you know? I'll let you know what happens. Still working on it. 

     So apparently I really impressed everyone with my dedicated hosting skills (and yes-I don't need to repeat how dedicated I was from last weeks letter) because they asked me to be a "special" host. Well in my head I immediately thought " I'm hosting Uchtdorf and Holland when they drop by" no, but still cool. I got to host a couple foreigners coming to the Provo MTC-here in America for their first time! Some spoke English and some didn't. Either way it was the funniest day of my life. I had the coolest Samoan sister and she loves me and wishes I was going to Samoa on my mission because I can "hang". Never underestimate the power of a compliment from a Samoan. Anyways we are besties now and I'm basically just one of the gals. Or I try. Two of the Samoans I hosted, an Elder and a Sister, had never seen snow and LOST THEIR MINDS when it started snowing while I was with them. They ran outside and danced for a minute and then immediately were like "nope too cold". The one elder walked right into a private office into a meeting I was having with a sister and walks right through the middle of this tiny closed door office (keep in mind he is like 6 foot 6) and stares out the window and in the tiniest, cutest, little voice I've ever heard out of such a giant, says "its....snowing" and started to CRY. I started to cry too!!! how could you not?!  I just have a special place in my heart for Samoans. They went on about how much they loved the food here and I mentally slapped myself in the face for ever complaining. It was a good reality check. 

     Janice Kapp Parry came and spoke to us. Little ashamed I had no idea who she was, but everyone was losing it. I know who she is now and think she is so awesome. She was crazy blunt and dry so my kind of woman. She was there to impress no one and I loved it. She shared a story about her hosting this young missionary in her home the day he came out to the field before he got his companion. As she was walking him to his room he began to cry. she asked if it was his family he missed or maybe a girlfriend and tried to comfort him. He then said "no, no. It's my dog. He's not going to know where I am tomorrow" and everyone in the audience started laughing because they weren't expecting him to be crying about a dog. Well I started to cry because I talk about my dogs 24/7 here and miss them more than is healthy and wonder if they think I abandoned them. Well she was appalled that so many laughed and was like "no. I understood him. I am a total dog person and would much more cry over my dogs than anything". So needless to say, I love her and she gets me and that's all there is to it. 

     We had a big mission training yesterday and Elder Bednar, Oaks, and Anderson spoke from a live conference from Salt Lake and it was way cool. I can't believe how many opportunities  I have had, while in the MTC, to hear apostles speak. I am so lucky. Each time I take something different and you realize these are truly apostles of Jesus Christ with the same authority and power as Peter, James, and John. 

     As I come to a close here at the MTC, it is very bitter sweet. I thought I would feel  so ready to go to Italy. And don't get me wrong,  I have learned so many things while being here, but I have one job; to get on a plane to Europe and not come home for 18 months and to preach of Christ everyday, all day long. That's pretty dang intimidating. I wish I could write and say I know what the heck I'm doing. But all I know is my language gets a little better everyday, I try listening to the spirit more in my lessons everyday, I try memorizing the 203958 scriptures I'm "supposed to" all in Italian a little more everyday. I am trying everyday. And sometimes that's enough to get me through the fear of actually arriving in Italy and going to work.

     You learn a lot about courage here and how literally everyday-day in and day out- I am to stand as a firm of a witness as there can be of Him on every bus, street corner, doorstep, etc. It was such a fun fantasy to think about at home, but this is about to happen in a week and a half!! It's not so fluffy and fantasy like anymore. This is actually happening. And in almost every country in the whole world a missionary wakes up somewhere with that one task in mind. I am a full time missionary with His name literally over my heart and I am to act accordingly. I was set apart to be a missionary under the same authority given by the same God as Alma, Ammon, Peter, Paul, and other incredible missionaries. Elder Holland put it, "We called you for 18 months. Not 10, not 14, not 17 and 3 weeks. Every minute of everyday for those 18 months. So DO NOT MISS YOUR OPPORTUNITY". 

     This gospel is a lot to ask of someone to take on - believe me I understand what I am about to ask people to do. We are asking these people to change their lives. And it is hard to do so and to continue to "perseverando sino alle fine". But salvation is not a cheap experience. Why should it be easy when it wasn't for Him? The ultimate sufferer? The road to eternal happiness first goes through Calvary. 

     I am his witness. I have signed on to be his missionary, which will bring a whole package of experiences. But the work can also be done by normal people in their everyday lives and sometimes they make the most difference. But the work must continue. When we are baptized we make promises as we turn toward Him to bring others with us. He trusts us with the knowledge that we were lucky to receive in order to do the same for others. It is always going to be scary and intimidating to be a missionary in your everyday life. Elder Oaks said it best "You are not called to preach what is comfortable. You are not called to be politically correct. You are not called to be socially accepted." We are called to act". 

     I am about to do this in another language in a foreign country on a weird continent to people who will hate my message. But I am smart enough to realize that I can not and will not be doing any of this alone. Non ho paura di nessun uomo! Be brave. These are some scriptures that really stuck out to me this week and I hope you look them up and pull some strength; Acts 4:29 be bold. Psalms 139:23 he knows you and your desires. Romans 1:16 Do not be ashamed or embarrassed! 2 Corinthians 3:12 Open your mouth. He will fill it. 

     I hope you all remember that God allowed you to hear this gospel and be baptized for a reason. It was not a coincidence. And it is because you proved to be amazing missionaries before this life. He knows the power of your mouths when you speak as directed with the Holy Spirit. There is no greater gift in anyone's lives than this gospel. So to the friends you love and cherish most, or family members who need a boost, or neighbor whose having a hard time, just reach out to them. That's literally sometimes all you have to do to make a difference. 

     And of course this is all easy to say but in a couple weeks I'm going to have to take my own advice and toughen up because I am human and am in need of constant reminder of these simple things. This world is not waiting for me to catch up. Do you really think God needs me as a missionary? No. He could do all this himself if he wanted to. But he allows me to help and watch because he knows that as I invite others to Christ, I am coming too. He loves us more than you can imagine. Pray to Him. Crescendevo pui qui alla MTC. Son grato al mio Padre Celeste per Gesu Cristo e il nostro Redentore. Io so che Gesu Cristo e noi Salvatore e ci ama. I sono felici per questo opportunita faccio Suo lavoro! Dose of Italian for the day eh? 

I love you all so much and think of you often!! 

Sorella Williams

Sorella Swenson's Bday celebtation

Veloce Settimana!

Hi wow,

     OK so. I would like to have a moment of silence for the death of Severus Snape. I was just informed - I have ways- and wow. That is so sad. I loved that guy. 

     Its been quite the week. First of all thank you for so many letters. You have no idea. I can tell I'm definitely the kind of missionary that likes to hear everything about your lives so don't hold back. Thursday we went to the temple which was so perfect!!! The temple is so beautiful.

     Most of this week has again just been a string of chaotic teaching!!! All day every day. We have such special moments with our investigators. It makes me so excited to go to Italy and find the people that are ready for the truth. No matter how many times I read the Joseph Smith history or the first vision,  I can always have the spirit ALWAYS. Whenever a discussion is going south or making no sense I immediately just read them the first vision and talk about Jesus Christ restoring his church. There is nothing more profound than that one afternoon in a grove. I love it. 

     I also need to say a little something of Sorella Hoffman. She is an unbelievable person and I love her with my whole heart. We are similar in a lot of ways and sometimes I pretend teach her like she is an investigator and still the spirit can be felt so strong. She is so in tune with the holy ghost and truly teaches by guidance. She shared a story this week to us about one of her investigators from her mission in Italy named Angela. She always refers to Angela as her golden investigator because she was so ready to hear the message and recognized its truthfulness almost immediately. She cried as she told us such personal details about their lessons with her. Angela was baptized and to this day I don't think there is anyone in the world that loves her as much as Sorella Hoffman. It's so sweet. It is truly unbelievable how this gospel and the truth of it can turn people towards God. She said you will experience so many people that are not ready for the gospel or don't want to listen, she said don't spend all your might on these people when there are people like Angela ready to return to Him. I'm learning a lot here about how to recognize what it is the Lord would have me say to these special people he introduces me to. I have experienced the spirit prompting me in a lesson to say something that may be different than the lesson plan and it has always been exactly what the person needed to hear. I love being His instrument in this bigger than life work!

     My older missionary couple friends, the Fitzner's, left on their mission Monday morning to Rome. I was sad because I know I wont see them as I will be in Milan. But NO ONE was more excited to go back to the mission he served in 45+ years ago than this sweet Frotello. He had some Italian missionaries come together and shared with us incredible and tender stories from his mission. I loved hearing about it so much. He said the hardest part of his mission was coming home after it was over. I hope I'm like that too!!!

     Anziano Harris's mom sent him something called the Riccardi Letter. ITS AMAZING. He read it to us when we had an hour to kill. If you have time to kill to please read it. They are honest letters about a guy on his  mission and some of the things he learned. I read it all the time now. I FEAR NO MAN. 

     SO this week has been exciting because 6/12 apostles are here training new mission presidents. You always know where they are because the hallways will be blocked off with lots of security. Well that was no challenge for me and I found a way to get inside and casually walk around hoping to bump into Uchtdorf and be like oh hello sir- uchtdorf is it? yes I am Sorella Williams. But that didn't happen, but I did bump into Brother Mills from the "before and after" devotional I was talking about in my last letter and was probably scaring him with how excited i was to see him. I was happy I got to tell him how much I appreciated his talk. That night Elder Neil Anderson spoke to us. Awesome. I now have had 2 of the 12 apostles speak to me while being in the MTC!! how lucky am I?! It was so great. I think my favorite part about hearing from the 12 is their unwavering testimonies of them being witnesses to the resurrected Christ. Nothing more powerful in the world. 

     OK now I have to talk about the fact that I had the chance to host yesterday. Hosting is when you have to pull sobbing family members off of their missionary and pull their suitcases inside the MTC and drag them with you. I was dreading it because MY OWN WOUND IS TOO FRESH FROM THAT DAY and I was so scared that I would join in on the family hug and start crying when it came time to drive away. ugh and I hate emotions and knew I would get stuck with some cry baby sister. I was not looking forward to it. It ended up being the most hilarious day ever. I was all over the place and they do NOT mess around here. We had to go to a conference to learn how to do it. well I was Joe too cool for school like whatever this is dumb. No it was not, this place runs like clockwork and they had the system down. I have to share some funny things. I hosted about 7 or 8 sisters (record in the whole conference thank you very much;) and one girl was crying saying goodbye to her family. I did well in the emotion department and just took her bags and started to walk away. I didn't know that her family was recording her walking away with me so I turn around and at full volume say to this elder down the road HEY IS THIS THE ONLY SISTER I NEED TO GET OR DO I NEED TO GRAB A COUPLE MORE CUTE CATS. only sisters can pick up sisters and we were short sister hosts so I was doing double duty a lot, so I wanted to double check lol. It was so awkward because I turn around and the entire family is frowning at me because I just ruined their very dramatic home video. I awkwardly said sorry and dragged their daughter away forever. AND THEN another time I got back to the curb (man I was sweating up a storm at this point lugging so many suitcases around-stripped down into the cardigan if you know what I'm saying) and all the sudden this older volunteer guy starts losing his mind looking at me saying SISTER THE VAN-THIS IS YOU- YOU'VE GOT THIS OK?! I'm like what the crap why is this guy losing it. well then I looked and realized why, the mother of all vans was chugging down the road straight to me. I was like sweet mercy help me. It was one of those vans that has like 5 rows of seats and had approximately 3 years of fast food shoved in the windshield. I was like THERE'S GOING TO BE LIKE FORTY SISTERS POPPIN OUT OF THIS BABY MAKE WAY EVERYONE HERE WE GO. And I was the only sister so I was the only one who could do it. I start doing some jogs in place and stretches when the van KEEPS DRIVING. They missed the stop line and kept on going on their merry way. So the volunteer guy is like SISTER THIS IS YOU STOP THAT VAN. um talk about panic. So I tear off up the road running full speed behind the biggest white van of all time waving my arms. Dress and all. I can only imagine what this must of looked like. But elders were cheering me on like KEEP GOING GET THOSE SISTERS YOU GOT IT and a lot of laughing. man it was quite the time. anyway eventually I got it stopped and out plopped one singular cute sister. WHAT THE HECK WHY WAS THIS BUS NECESSARY but she was crying so I thought it best not to ask her. Another time I was taking  3 Spanish sisters to the 3rd floor. I have never been to the third floor because the only people there are all Spanish speakers. well let me tell you I've been missing quite the party because the minute the elevator doors opened there was a full on fiesta going on and everyone was talking Spanish and took the girls right from me. wow what a party! From there I took a Danish sister to the European floor, the fourth floor (my floor) not a sound when we got off the elevator hahahaha. nice. huge culture difference. Hosting man, got to love it.

     My comp has been saying good morning to everyone in the mornings and some days no one says it back. Well I got mad and one day said "Mordate mi!" while smiling and waving which means "bite me" and they all returned the wave and had no idea what i said. hahahaha. best thing ever.

     I am so happy to be a missionary. I learn about myself as a true daughter of God in ways I never have.  I want to tell you all that He is so aware of you, and  you can feel his love for you if you simply ask. So many tender mercies have come my way just by asking him. The Holy Spirit is the way he can tell us he loves us. He would much rather stand next to us and hug us, but that wouldn't be helpful in learning how to be strong and have faith would it. Turn toward God and away from your past. Repent daily- it is the best thing we have been given. So many of us have a bitter taste with the word repentance. It is not meant to be something that scares us. We sin everyday- he knows this, but Christ wants us to grow closer to him and exercising the gift he died for so we could have, is not a bad way to repay him . Decide what you really believe about the Savior and His atonement, and then get on your knees and pray to know more. He will tell us. That is what I learned from Elder Anderson. I am another witness of Jesus Christ. I know that he lives and that he leads and guides his church which has the full gospel. Pray for knowledge, strength, comfort, solace, and forgiveness. And then do something about it!!!! These answers don't come to everyone in the same way. Appreciate your individual relationship with him. he loves you.

 I love you all and hope you have such a great week!!!! 






Half way through the MTC Martinelli celebration

Sorella Williams and her companion Sorella Seymour

Cappo D'anno!!

HAPPY NEW YEEEAAAAARSSSSSS. 

     The MTC was so hype for new years. We went to class all day, had normal awful food, and went to bed at 10. It was so rad. I'm still recovering. But on a serious note the one cool thing was I could hear fireworks from my window!! I just put my hand on the glass and longingly looked outside of this prison. :) I'm glad to hear you guys did some fun stuff though. 

     In no way was my district a coincidence for me to be assigned into. I would not be learning and growing the same without them. The Anziani crack me up all the time. All we do is laugh. It's great. You get to know people reaaalllllll quick when you spend 12+ hours of everyday with them in one tiny classroom. Interesting stuff transpires that's for sure. 

     Newbies came in this week Tuesday and Wednesday because there are so many new missionaries. I couldn't even look at their scared faces!! It's too exhausting to remember that day for me. But I'm so glad I had the courage to walk into this place. 

     All this past week has been is teaching teaching teaching. We teach multiple lessons everyday and it is crazy hard sometimes. We started TRC (teaching resource center) last Thursday and it's so cool. It's where you get to teach volunteer investigators who speak Italian and it can be so intimidating at times holy cow! Sorella Hoffman had a family she worked with during her time in Pisa come in (they were visiting Utah to see temple square for the first time-their first time in America). I couldn't stop hugging the mom. She was this tiny sweet little lady and I was so excited to meet her that every question she asked me went immediately out the door. I just awkwardly laughed and nodded a lot and continued to hug her. It got me so excited for Italy but also I'm realizing they talk about 2039029385908305 miles faster than my teachers and have true accents so that's cool. Her family would ask my a question and I would just slap the knee and classic laugh and say "bene, va bene" and then they would stare at me like what the heck is your problem and I would then realize.. oh they asked me a question. 

     I'm slowly but surely getting a lot better at having conversations in Italian. The spirit of the language is true people. Not in the sense that it fills my head with unlearned Italian words that I spew upon my investigators, but he makes my mind clear and memory better to remember words I have learned in the past. That's why they say; yes you have the gift of tongues, but you need to work at it. AND WORK WE DO HOLY CRAP. The other day I was reaching a breaking point and my teacher began another spiritual/Italian lesson and I was like "STTTTOOPPPPPPP I cannot handle so much spirituality in one day!  can't  we just kick it for like one second?!?!?" Well, she happened to have just put a cookie in her mouth (Sorellla Russell) and immediately choked because she started laughing so hard. She legit couldn't breathe and I was like great I just killed her because I didn't want to be spiritual for a minute. She ran out of the classroom still laughing and had to drink like 11 gallons of water to get that CRISP chips ahoy down her mouth.  It was the funniest thing ever. Lesson learned. It's almost always at 1, 4, and 9 PM where we all have individual breaking points. I try not to vocalize mine but when I'm hysterically laughing/crying/over life in general/can't take in one more new Italian language rule- I'm done hahaha.

     This past Sunday was fast Sunday which to me I was dreading, not because I would be hungry, but because eating is our only break. So when we would have been able to take a breather and eat-we just kept studying. It was ridiculous. But it ended up being the best Sunday here so far. Sundays at the MTC are something else. I cant quite explain it, but the spirit is with you all day long. Even when you can't keep your eyes open anymore. And then I witnessed a horrifying sight when the cafeteria doors were reopened at 5:45pm and I saw a legitimate hunger games right before my very eyes. Needless to say I steered clear for a while. Everyone feeds on each other here so usually it goes like this "wow I'm kinda hungry, yeah just really hungry, starving, I have a migraine because I'm starving, I SWEAR I could eat my arm, I AM GOING TO DIE IF I DON'T SHOVE 11 ROLLS IN MY FACE" so that helps to paint a picture of what that place looked like when the doors opened. I was surprisingly fine actually. I don't like the food here so it was like a forced detox. 

     We had a powerful testimony meeting. Our branch Pres told us we can only bear our testimonies in Italian. Well the spirit forced me to stand and bare mine- classic. and I was like haha psych I can't do this in Italian. So I did italian-glish. It was such a great moment for me because I truly had no clue what I was going to say, but the spirit was with me and I ended up talking about personal prayer. I heard a quote this week that said "Most problems with prayer come from forgetting your relationship with the person you're praying to" and it really hit me. He is our father. Not just the God of this world and all its beautiful creations, but our FATHER. Turn yourself over to him and he will always give you strength. I can promise you that. No problem is too big, small, weak, or stupid to him. My branch Pres wife said to me "Thank you for being so real- you have no idea how hard that is to be" I think it was the best compliment I've gotten in here so far. It was really sweet of her to say and made me feel good that she understood what I was trying to say up there. 

     Then that night we had the best devotional I think we've had so far (sorry Bednar) surprisingly, it was from the president of the international MTCs. None of us knew how big of an impact it would have on us. He said things I needed to hear and I had the spirit tell me this was not a coincidence that I was hearing it. He and his wife were so funny and so real and so genuine. Their names are Kelly and Cathy Mills. I will never forget them. I have thought about it everyday since. They told many stories of missionaries from all over the world at different MTCs that they have met over time. I am a visual learner so what they did next had such an impact on me. They had some truly incredible stories about average people who changed their life around and decided to serve missions. He then put pictures up on the big screen and showed "before and after" pictures of them. One of them in their old life and one of them on/home from their missions. The before pictures weren't even all that bad but I have never seen the physical light of Christ shine so brightly then when comparing it to how they hold themselves and appear after serving others. Their after pictures were not of them all goofy smiling dumb with a suit on either. Both before and after were just normal pictures of them. But they had been changed. Their entire demeanor was different with experience and knowledge and testimony. You could easily see the difference and at many pictures I couldn't help but gasp out loud. These people had "invited others to come unto Christ, and the side effect was they came too". Truly life changing. 

     I have thought a lot this week about strength. Many amazing friends and family members in my life are going through some seriously challenging times. Romans 8: 31 is the most simple and profound piece of advice I could offer. I have read it many times as I picture myself taking on a HUGE European country filled with many scary and great and bigger than me and dangerous and beautiful things. He wants you to seek solace in him because he can and will be the only one to truly lift you up. So let him! What is the harm in asking? I often find myself too scared to ask questions in prayer because I am afraid I wont get an answer, and then what? Stop worrying about yourself and start trusting. Everything has its purpose in your life for a specific reason. Agency can be a love hate relationship when the tough times get hard, the only way to grow is to pour yourself to Him. BE humble-he will not leave you alone. 

     Go in thy might, surely I will be with thee.

     Thank you for so many thoughts and prayers my way. I wish I could write individually to each of you but ALAS zero tempo. mamma mia!

     I wish you guys could see how it is in here but I'm killing it and working hard and taking names and forcing people to be baptized. jk. kinda though. I had to explain in Italian why only men have the priesthood and why we can't go into the temples. talk about hard. BUT I DID IT AND IT WAS amazing. my investigator cried when I talked about the priesthood. it was incredible. love you all and proud of you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also everyone makes fun of me because apparently when I teach I use my hands a lot like a true Italian. and I'm like ew stop spying on my lessons am i right?

love Lindsay



Sorella Swenson and Sorella Williams









Temple walk on Sunday

Buon Natale!!!

     Merry Christmas!!!! I cannot believe that was already 5 days ago. An MTC Christmas is one I will not forget that's for sure. Weirdest, most exhausting, spiritual, annoyingly homesick, happy to be here, and BUSY day of my entire life. 

     Christmas Eve was normal schedule, but we got out of class early (hallelujah) to go to some cool devotionals and the depiction of the nativity. Mormons love theater so any chance they can get on stage and show off their 3 wiseman skills is one they definitely take advantage of.  I have to say, if I have to sing Joy to the World one more time I might throw up. My roommates and I took "our first Christmas" photos together. I love my district. They let me be me which is pretty much crucial. We are laughing constantly. It's like middle school again where you can't sit with your buddies because you disrupt the class. But don't worry we are just FLOWING WITH RIGHTEOUSNESS HERE. its hard being so good;) bad joke. Anyways. Christmas day we had to wake up at 5:45 and....study. HA! I read the story of Jesus's birth and completely got a different feeling than I ever had when reading it before. It was the best way I could have spent Christmas morning which I honestly didn't think I would ever say. But it's true. I felt so joyful while reading how the angels were singing and rejoicing on high that the savior of all was at long last here.

     Elder BEDNAR came ladies and gentleman. It was so amazing. We got to see him in a completely different light because instead of his audience being the world (general conf) it was just us. And because of that he could talk to us more directly and differently. Each member of his family spoke. His little grand kids were screaming GRANDPA WHAT ARE YOU DOING the whole time it was hilarious. He passed out 150 cell phones (resisted temptation to text you guys saying "hi from Bednars phone lolzies") and we got the opportunity to text him up on the stand any question we wanted. We were live streaming with every MTC in the world and video streaming with the Chile and Ghana MTC. The choir sang Noel and it was incredible. Nothing can bring the spirit in faster than 700, 20 year old missionaries singing REJOICE FOR THE KING. The room radiated and our choir director tried to not cry as he directed us. I'm tearing up even thinking about it. Completely different side note, my face was on the screen so the world saw me trying not to laugh at my jumbo tron hashtag resisted temptation to not wave. After that we had more cheesy reenactments of the Christmas Carol to which I IMMEDIATELY feel asleep until this guy who was really into his act was screaming EBENEZER SCRRROOOOUUUGGGGEEEE I woke up and Children actually started to cry that's how loud it was. I ran into my choir teacher in the cafeteria and tried to tell him I appreciated him and accidentally tripped on some kids stupid chair and fell INTO this poor man. It was awkward because I nervously laughed it off, but he didn't laugh he just stared at me. Talk about defeat. I gave the chair kid a good talking to. Everyone was watching too and like 30 people started laughing at me. Oh man. 

     I appreciated the little gifts and letters I received in here. I took pictures of me opening all of them and hopefully I can get that to you. I loved it all so much I can't even say. The words of encouragement were so lovely and made me feel so good. So thank you for that sooooo much. 

     Then it was time to call home which I was dreading and excited for. I kept my cool for the most part. But my stupid computer wasn't working and in the middle of the phone call had to switch computers which means I lost time in the phone call. I was so frazzled and overwhelmed, but told everyone in the room  including my presidents, that if anyone made me cut my time short they would get a swift kick in the throat. And yes I can kick that high. I loved talking to you guys. Forgot how much I missed your voices and wish I could have said so much more. But it sounded like everyone was happy and struggled with the scavenger hunt. yes:) When I hung up I got teary eyed. Awkward people tried to pat my back and I said NOPE and ran away. Side note I also learned that I am the queen of the game jacks (oh mission life). That was the main entertainment while we were just sitting around waiting for the next thing WHICH by the way happened to be David Archuleta. Now I'm going to try and sufficiently write what took place when they announced good ole Dave was coming. There are two things Mormons go crazy for 1. volleyball and 2. David Archuleta. I watched in horror as full on riots of excitement broke out and multiple sisters burst into tears. It was like an Oprah giveaway episode no joke. Me and my district didn't know what the heck was going on but i almost  peed my pants laughing. It was a good concert!! Our Christmas dinner was a sack lunch pb&j and apple hahaha. no joke. We then watched Ephraim's Rescue which is one of the few church movies that I don't cringe of cheesiness during. It was so good and nothing makes you feel more wimpy than a movie about people freezing and starving to death walking to Utah...so that ended on a good/depressing note haha. 

     The rest of the days have gone by so fast so I will try to write some highlights that I remember. I accidentally in Italian told my investigator to read Alma 11:7 instead of Alma 11:40 . Uhhhh big difference ladies and gentleman hahaha. she said over and over "Io no se?" I said "what don't you understand? I've never read anything more direct!!!!" haha my bad. Sometimes on service days there is literally nothing to do because everything at the MTC is so neat and clean all the time so they had me clean vacuums. you heard me, I cleaned the cleaners. just wiped them with a rag. hahahahaa. Also when you don't ever listen to music you find that every other minute a new song is stuck in your head and nothing is more frustrating when you forget the lyrics and can't look them up. You just run around to other people singing what you know and hope they spontaneously finish the line. also Puo, po, and po all are different words in Italian. meaning "more, he did, and little". I formed a sentence using only those words and laughed my face off. And the word "bean" and "gospel" are IDENTICAL and apparently I've been saying I believe that this is Jesus's bean on earth. ahhhhhhh. mission life. 

     On Sunday I taught several times. I was grateful to share dads conversion story which I love telling. I look up to my dad and his example of literally droping everything and following the promptings of the spirit. A strong man became even stronger by way of God. At some point we must all be converted, and I'm not talking about baptism when you're 8 type of thing. I am talking about turning yourself towards Christ and rooting yourself there. Those who are converted are different than those who have a testimony. Alma 23:5-6. I shared my testimony that as set apart missionaries, we have special blessings needed to accomplish the Lords work, but more than that just as Children Of God we have the power and birth right to call upon the Holy Spirit when we need. If God could come down and put his arms around us in times of sadness or sorrow he would, but how would that build faith, strength, or character? His gift to us to feel a small fraction of his celestial and infinite love is the holy spirit. SO USE IT. He wants us to have it with us always. It was a great lesson and the spirit was very strong.

 

     There was no mistake in being assigned to the district I am in. I needed these people to learn what I am learning. This week has been harder for me than last week as I am learning more Italian. I have another investigator named Mckayla. It had already been such a hard day for me Monday, but I was supposed to teach her later in the evening. As we taught her I couldn't for the life of me understand what she was saying' but even worse, when I did understand I didn't know how to respond. It was such an inadequate feeling and often at the MTC you can feel like you aren't where you should be in all aspects of learning. They don't  exactly slowly introduce you to teaching people either. It is BAM and that can be really hard. I can't go into everything that happened, but it was enough that I felt more helpless and inadequate than ever. And it's frustrating because you have already sacrificed so much to be here. After the lesson was over I made my way to the bathroom and (sigh-yes) I cried. I cried because I can't use my mouth which is so worthless to me when I am only to speak Italian. The lesson that day was the cherry on top of an already hard couple of days. When I came out of the bathroom an Elder walked up to me handing me three letters from my family. I didn't miss a beat when I swiveled and went right back to the bathroom to read them and tear up haha. But I realized that I was crying for myself and that pissed me off. I wiped my stupid ugly face and left the room, did a few air punches and remembered a talk that Bednar gave. This work literally has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the people. I just get to see it happen in front of my eyes. This place sucks/rocks constantly and is a temporary place for me to become the missionary God needs me to be for the Italians. I get frustrated because I am confident in how I talk to people. So why didn't God want me to have an English mission so I could make an impact? I find myself shocked at how hard this MTC experience can be at times. It's pretty much the biggest ugliest piece of humble pie throw up and a side of slap in the face I've ever had.  As I endure I find myself down on my knees every night. I cannot say how important prayer has been to me this past week. Many problems with prayer come from forgetting your relationship with him. HE IS YOUR FATHER. Go to him. At home I went to my dad for everything and I miss his absence from this new found life almost daily. But instead I am now to lean on my Heavenly Father and how amazing that has been for me to realize. I learned this week that sometimes even when obedience is present in your life and trials come, it is not a punishment or a "Im not doing something right" it is evidence that God is aware of you and that you are strong enough to endure yet another trial to become who you are needed/want to become. I can't help but think of a dear family to me in Kamas who was feeding missionaries and visiting teaching when their house burnt down. Why? they were being obedient. they were doing everything right. so why would something so horrific happen to such good people? why do missionaries warp the concept in their minds that obedience=success. It does not equal success and if you truly believe that you are out of your mind and I welcome you to spend one day at the MTC. Obedience is your relationship strengthening with God as you work on living your life at a higher plain. That is not to say you will not endure life hardest trials. I tell the people around me this every single day so that they may stay sane. It is an important thing to know and understand. You must learn use yourself towards Christ's will rather your own. John 3:30 is one of the most simple and profound scriptures I have read. Your usefulness will not decrease but rather you are becoming more as the savior taught "even as I am". 

     I am humbled being here. I am happy being here. I am frustrated being here. But it is all necessary for me to learn what it is I am required. And I am grateful for the knowledge and testimony that this is Gods true gospel. I have it born witness to me every single day. 

     This week I am teaching 5 new investigators all from Milan. like for real no joke they do not speak a word of English. I find so much comfort in knowing my only job as a missionary is to tell a story , it is the Lords job to convert. and that is a far harder job! Wish me luck!! we get fresh new missionaries today and as I see their terrified faces in this freezing snow I comfort them...psych I'm just like HOLLA' glad I got that over with two weeks ago. Miss you all!! hope you had a great week! 

your missionary sorella

in bocca al lupo ( in the mouth of the wolf- i guess that means good luck to them. I prefer to say it while screaming. scares people. got to make this place interesting sometimes.)

The Sorellas and their Christmas Stockings

Sorella Seymour and Sorella Williams happy to be outside











Lindsay with her Christmas gifts

MTC Be Cray!

Buon Natale!!!!

     Craziest week of my life and I don't even know where to begin. Mom wanted every detail when I got the MTC so I will try my best. After I left you guys at the car (aka hurricane of emotions) I was quickly drugged and asked to sacrifice a goat. jk it was fine. I went inside and right away got my name tag. I was teary eyed but happy. As I was getting it put on me I could here someone crying next to me. I looked over and it was Sorella Wise!!! We straight up ran to each other and hugged and cried. I was so happy to have her with me and I know she was relieved. We stayed together as we got our Italian books and ID cards and all that jazz. We found out we were not in the same district (boo) but I see her all the time. I was shown my room, dropped my suitcases off and taken to a class room. I was the last one to enter and it was SO AWKWARD because I was loud and laughing/crying and accidentally knocked into a desk and made all these books fall and it was a mess. But it was mostly awkward because my teacher was speaking to me in full Italian and I just thin grinned back and slowly backed toward the only desk left. My teacher is a sweet heart her name is Sorella Hoffman and she got back a year ago from serving in Milan as well. She's good about putting up with me that's for sure because I don't know what the crap I'm doing in Italian. I found out my companion is Sorella Seymour and she is THE BEST. I love her and we make a good team when we teach investigators. We had a meeting with all the new missionaries and sang Called To Serve. Talk about up in the feels am I right? They chose me to stand up in front of 023957803945 people and read and share my thoughts about the rules in the handbook. HAH wrong person to ask because lets just say these rules take some getting used to. But I'm glad Sorella Seymour is SO obedient and keeps me on board. Then we had dinner and tours and branch meetings, oh my gosh it was the longest day of my life and so weird to now have a companion to remain in "sight and hearing" at all times. We also taught 3 real investigators ( in English, whew) on the first day. It was crazy because they had real questions and real problems in their lives. As we taught the spirit was so strong, I knew they felt it to because each one of them in our different lessons began to cry and we bore testimony of this gospel. Ugh I'm getting teary eyed even typing this. The mission guy said that they pay these non member people $18 an hour to come to the MTC and be taught by us, but they always have to find new people because they all end up getting baptized!! and that's just by the first day newbie missionaries!! powerful.  But we get along so well and I truly lucked out. That first night was rough because I couldn't sleep. I could hear sisters crying all night and it kept me up!!! But the next day went smoothly and I was just glad to get December 16th over with.

     My district is great! They get my humor and they let me be me which is good because let me tell you what, 9 hours of Italian class per day makes me a little crazy. I sometimes get to a point where I either loose my mind, hysterically start laughing, become exhausted to the point of crying, get sass pants, or I just drop and roll out of the classroom...literally. My teacher loves me though she's great. I have Sorella Swenson (sister from another mister..seriously long lost sisters. love her.She's going to Rome), Deem (young cute innocent baby face little bambina. going to Milan), Hills (brilliant, happy, STRONG, classy, picture her as like a young Maggie Smith who likes to kick it sometimes and party. Rome), Seymour (bff, California beach babe who pillow talks with me every night and loves peanut butter. Milan), then there are the Anziani Tilton (USU, 20 year old QUIET funny guy. Milan) and Harris (funny, easy going, his dad served in Rome and TAUGHT THE POPE, from Brigham. Milan). They are warming up to me because I haven't really given them a choice. They are silent but deadly because if you listen closely they say the funniest stuff. They are great. A usual day is wake up at 6 (if I have service or gym then 5:40) go to class go to breakfast go to gym go to class go to lunch go to class maybe a  devotional or meeting go to class go to dinner go to class go home and approximately have 30 minutes to shower, get dressed, unwind, write in journal, prepare talks or lessons sometimes, journal, companion prayers, write any letters, etc. Its crazy. If you are self conscious a mission is not for you because hashtag no makeup & no shower happens a little too frequently. There's just no time. And then it starts all over again. Sundays here are great because they are so meaningful. You have stuff all day and just go to meeting after meeting after meeting! Especially right now because its Christmas time so every devotional is so amazing. We had one called Music, The Spoken Word, Richard Heaton, a David Bednar movie (incredible-about the character of Christ), and one last night with Elder Brent Nielson of the Seventy. I could write paragraphs about every single one of them. I can't believe how much I have learned in one week. I have such a testimony of the power of prayer. That first day or really anytime I feel overwhelmed or weak I say a prayer and feel strengthened immediately. God loves his missionaries and I feel it everyday here. 

     My Italian is getting better and better. Sometimes I get SO annoyed that I'm not catching on or at the level others are. And then I say I have been here 7 days, calm your pants. Me e me collega taught Francesca 4 Italian lessons already! The first lesson was the third day I was here!! How crazy is that? The gift of tongues is real people because when I focused  too hard on what she was saying or what I would respond with I couldn't understand her, but when I focused on the spirit and what she needed to hear I knew exactly what she was saying. So many miracles have happened in our short lessons with her. Or sometimes I look like an idiot running around the room basically playing charades so she can understand us haha. I was trying to explain the devil a couple days ago and ended up putting my two fingers as horns and growling at her. We all laughed it was so awful. But I love when me and Seymour can teach together, MAGIC PEOPLE. She agreed to be baptized last lesson and it was the most incredible feeling!! I felt Christ's love for her and began to tear up to see the spirit touch her hear. I love being a teacher and I am proven everyday over and over again exactly why I am here. This places is becoming normal to me (even the crapy food) and I am so happy to feel at home here with these missionaries. You can't help but be humbled as you look around at the hundreds of happy missionaries realizing that each one of them sacrificed so much to be here (some learned English just to be here at the Provo MTC from different countries) and each one of them were prayerfully assigned  as to where they would serve. There is no place in the world like the MTC. It's prison but it's a happy prison  you just don't get visitors hahaha. The MTC president said the only place more holy than the MTC is the temple. So even when you grab breakfast, even on a P day, you have to be in church clothes. 

     The Italians, Germans, and Romanian missionaries are very close here. They stick together and I guess they have since the beginning of time. The Germans were the ones who helped us and gave us tours those first couple of days because "the Italians and Germans stick together" haha. All of Europe is pretty much on the third floor so there are multiple languages being talked back and forth and bathroom time is like girly chaos of talking about your mission. It's fun to be Italian here! Its kind of like high school, its very clique but only by what country/state you're going to which you don't really have a choice because of your companion and everything but still. Everyone sticks together and when you're in the cafeteria you can clearly see the Argentina table, the Italian table, the French table, the Canada table, etc. Its pretty funny. 

     I can't thank you enough for so many letters and packages!!! Nothing better than walking to class when your district pres. comes running after you with a letter in his hand. Dear Elder is fantastic because they come same day and I can to read them immediately whereas if you send a hand written one (which I still love) I have to wait until the night. Your letters made me laugh so hard and I shared some with my buddies here who are now understanding where I get my humor based on all your letters haha. They were like "oh, makes sense now". Funny how excited we get for devotionals and things like that. It is seriously like Disneyland when someone tells you that there is a devotional which means this will be the BEST WEEK EVER because Christmas equals four million devotionals. I joined the MTC choir to get out of class, but it ended up being the BEST decision ever. The choir teacher is the best person I have ever met and it so smart and funny. He makes it so fun and you end up learning a lot about Christ you didn't even know about. We sang He Sent His Son yesterday for a devotional and the room was just RADIATING the spirit. I love being apart of it...as does the rest of the MTC so there's like no one in the audience because we have 700 missionaries in the choir hahahaha. no joke 700. So there's just a couple old people in the audience and our teachers hahahahaa. We are singing Noel on Christmas day and I can't wait. I am thankful for so many things. But I want to participate in the family tradition of Christ's gift for Christmas with you guys. My gift to Christ this year is learning patience and trust through him. He will make weak things become strong unto them. And that is the game plan people. I love my savior and trust in him that in 6 weeks I will be ready for Italy and the people waiting for me. 

     It still hasn't hit me that I'm a missionary but I see little changes in myself now and then that make my smile and say a prayer of thanks. I am changing for the better. Despite missing friends and family I don't want to be anywhere else but here. I went to SLC Monday to get my visa and it was weird seeing Draper and Orem and SLC from the train without jumping out to see my friends. I saw dads office (sad) and Jessica's (sad too). It was weird but the visa stuff went well and now I'm official!! it was a fun field trip, aka prison break you know what I'm sayin?

     Miss you all so much and hope all is well. Buon Natale!!!!!! Please look at your life and think of ways your can grow closer to Him this Christmas. He is your advocate and your fighter. He is your light and your biggest cheerleader. D&C 45:3-5. read it and weep people....because I literally did. Merry Christmas. I write in my journal every night I CAN DO HARD THINGS. I'm proving myself right every single day here. I love you all so much and have NO time to write everyone back so I'm sorry but I promise I will get better at this Pday thing.

love Sorella Williams

p.s volleyball for Mormons is not a hobby it is a way of life. scary stuff. xoxoxxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Sorella Swenson, Sorella Seymour, and Sorella Williams on the train to go to SLC for their Visas

Lindsay and her companion, Sorella Seymour, in their matching dresses

Lindsay and her friend Sorella Wise going to SLC

Lindsay and her companion practicing to be Italian

In downtown SLC

The sorellas on the train